TITLE: It's Just a Backache
AUTHOR: Darragh Tieraneaux
EMAIL: abhorsen_darragh@y... or prof_tieraneaux@e...
RATING: G-PG
PAIRING: Remus/Sirius
Feedback: Would be greatly appreciated.
SPOILERS: None
WARNINGS: Mpreg, slight slash, AU after Goblet of Fire, Fluff, slight borderline angst, semi-unbeta'd...
A/N: In light of the recent freak out on Lurking writers, I decided I should get off my ass and post something... So, this is the first of 2 stories that involve mpreg, that I have written so far. Umm, I hope you like. thanks.
DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

This story is an entry in the Harry Potter Mpreg Fuh-Q-Fest. (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/harrypottermreg/)

Challenge #53. Someone manages to keep his pregnancy a secret right up until he goes into labour. Unfortunately, labour starts at the most inconvenient moment and with only one person there to help him -- and it just happens to be the clueless other father. (Submitted by Scarlet Carly)

~*~

It's Just A Backache

~*~

`Ow!' I exclaimed. That hurt. I'm sure it's nothing… just a backache. She's not due for another week.

`Remus? Hunny? You okay?' Sirius asked concerned.

`Yeah, I'm fine,' I replied absently. `Just a Charlie horse,' I lied and then rubbed my leg for show.

`Would you like to stop here and rest your leg?' He asked as he looked around at our surroundings.

`Yes please,' I sat down on a near by rock and took a deep breath.

I've kept her from him for so long. I was leaving for a week to have her then I was going to tell him… once I had her. I really should tell him now. Actually, I shouldn't have come on this hike/picnic that he had planned, in the first place, but he put a lot into it and I just couldn't turn him down.

All week he was talking about going. About how romantic it would be to watch a sunset on the beach, after we had a stroll through the woods to get to it, and it really sounded wonderful. When it was time to go he had the dinner packed. He had the convertible ready. He even had my favourite singer, Josh Groban, playing in the stereo.

The only reason he doesn't know about her is because I put a spell on myself to keep the roundness of my stomach from being seen. It was absolutely fortunate that I found the spell that made no one able to feel my round abdomen. I nearly exploded with relief when I stumbled across that book. It was called `It's Just A Backache: Keeping Your Little Secret, A Secret'.

Sirius didn't want kids yet and I certainly don't blame him. He was just recently pardoned. Pettigrew was dead, Voldemort was dead and he was free. Sure we had talked about it. Sirius said he wanted to wait until Harry was out of school before we even thought about it and Harry is in his sixth year.

I stood up; I was ready to move on. I wasn't certain it was a backache but I didn't want him to get suspicious. `Okay, Siri, we can go.'

`Okie dokie,' he said as he stood up and began to walk again. I took a few deeps breaths to gather my wits before I set off after him.

I was okay for about fifteen minutes, that's when I felt another contraction that was slightly more intense and I nearly lost my balance. Instead, I grabbed the nearest tree to hold myself up. I must have made a lot of noise because Sirius whipped around.

`Rem, what are you doing?' He asked with a raised eyebrow.

`Umm…' I panted slightly. `The trees look nice from here.' I looked up into the foliage. The light filtered through the trees and the whole canopy began to spin.

It was at that point I started to silently panic. I turned and leaned against the tree. I was near panting as I took off my knap sack and slid down the trunk.

`Siri, we gotta stop here, okay?' I said as I tried to calm down.

`Rem, what's wrong?' Sirius asked as he knelt before me.

I had to tell him something he most likely didn't want to hear and I couldn't bare that. I started to cry.

`Rem…?' he trailed. His adorable clean-shaven faced was looking at me with concern, mixed with love, shining in his beautiful blue eyes. `Tell me what's wrong… I'll try to make it better.' That made me smile despite my tears. He couldn't do anything except be there.

`I- Oh Sirius, you'll hate me.' I sobbed. Yes, I was being irrational but I was upset at keeping her a secret.

`Rem, I promise that whatever it is, I won't hate you, okay?' he said as he took my right hand in his.

I was quiet for a moment. Trying to find the words to tell him that I was carrying his baby girl for nine months and never told him. Instead, I opted for a more concrete method. I took my wand out of my knap sack and pointed it at my stomach.

`Liberi Apertum,' I sniffed.

It was like an invisibility cloak had fallen off of my stomach. I was just suddenly round. Sirius gasped and fell back on his arse in shock.

`You hate me…' I whispered after a moment of silence stretched between the two of us.

`I don't hate you… but, Rem, why didn't you tell me?' He demanded but was still gentle.

`Because you didn't want kids,' I whispered.

`I wanted kids, Rem. Just not so soon, but that doesn't mean I'd have made you get rid of it or anything. I wish you had told me. I would have loved to go through it all with you. I am so sorry for whatever I said that had to make you keep it from me for that was not my intent. I mean, how could I not want a little you running around?' He smiled.

`Or a little you,' I sniffed. I was about to hug him when a contraction made me curl into a ball. I had a new respect for Molly Weasley and every other woman who has went through labour and childbirth.

Then a new feeling went through me, it was like my entire anatomy was twisted into a knot and then it went back to contraction pain. My body had just changed to let the baby out--I got parts of the female anatomy--which meant I was about ten minutes away from pushing.

`Okay, Moony, just breath,' Sirius said soothingly as I gripped his hand. He had been there when Lily went into labour and I had to go get James from Diagon Alley. He knew what he was doing; he had to deal with it for about half an hour.

I took deep breaths as the contraction wound down.

`Rem?' Sirius asked carefully.

`Yeah?' I panted.

`How exactly are you going to deliver this baby?' He asked slowly as if trying not to offend me.

`The same way every other baby is delivered, Sirius,' I replied.

`But you don't have the… you know,' he blushed.

`I do now,' I replied.

`You do?' He asked.

`Yeah, I do. Now help me get out of these pants,' I said as I unbuttoned my pants and he helped me slide out of them.

`Oh! You do,' he stated as I settled back against the tree in just a t-shirt. I smiled.

`Ow! Oh! Ow! Contraction,' I bit out.

`Deep breaths Rem, deep breaths,' Sirius said trying to be helpful.

`Okay, Siri, I'm ready to push,' I panted as the contraction lessened. `When the next contraction comes, be ready.'

`Kay,' he smiled as he brushed my hair from my eyes. `I love you, Rem.' He gave me an encouraging peck on the lips.

`I love you to-OW!' I said as I scrunched my eyes shut and began to push.

`Hun, you're going to have to push a little harder,' Sirius said as he watched the baby's progress.

I can hardly even explain the pain. I felt like I was turning myself inside out and it was a burning pain. I was halfway through delivery when I thought I was going to pass out.

`Come on, Rem, you can do it. Push, push, push, push, push,' he said as he, basically, cheered me on. That heartened me and I worked harder. `I can see the head, Rem! A few more pushes and it'll be out.'

I pushed until I screamed and then our daughter's wail filled the air and I stopped abruptly. I handed Sirius my wand with what little strength I had left and told him to cut the cord. Once I had the afterbirth out of my body and Sirius had disposed of it, he placed our daughter in my arms.

`You have a daughter,' he whispered as a tear slid down his cheek.

`We have a daughter,' I corrected as I gazed down at the tiny being.

She had a load of black hair and her bright little eyes were like Sirius's blue ones.

`She looks like her dad,' I smiled.

`She's beautiful, like you,' he said as he sat down beside me and kissed my hair. `Does she have a name?'

`I'd like to name her "Lolita Ren", if that's alright with you,' I said still transfixed by my baby girl.

`Of course it's alright with me… It's beautiful,' he said as he kissed me on the lips.

`Sirius, we made her. We made this wonderful little life. Can you believe it? Our baby Lolita Ren,' I smiled as she fell asleep in my arms.

~*~Fin?~*~