Updated PartTitle: Death Brings Change
Author: Caliadragon
Rating: NC-17 overall
Fandom: Buffy/Angel
Pairings: Xander/Oz, Wil/Angel, Wes/Giles, Gunn/Faith/Cordy, Anya/Fred, Riley/Graham
Warnings: Multiple Character Deaths, Mpreg, Angst
AN: The damn bunnies have bitten the crap outta me again! They just won't go away. If you made it past the warnings then you know this is going to have mpreg. If it's not your cup of tea then you don't want to read this.
AN 2: Darla and Angel knockin' boots never happened, so no Connor. Spike did get a soul, but it was through a spell performed by Glory. While Spike did love Buffy, it became paternal. He now goes by Wil. Xander and Anya have only ever been friends and never lovers. Spike was chipped and taken in by Giles, but slept in the guest room not the tub. Buffy never sent Angel to hell, Xander did.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of our pretty playthings. Joss and a lot of other people do. I just sneak them through a portal and torture them a little.
Summary: Death brings on a change and the birth of a special child. Two people come together and face their destiny.
Spoilers: Shades of The Pack and bits and pieces of all the seasons of both shows. However, as you know if you've read any of my stuff, I don't write canon. I write from my own little world. I know I'm a nut and I'm quite proud of that fact.
Thanks to Edi for the beta.
Chapter 1
The flare of a match cast light into the darkness and became Xander's point of focus. "Who's there? Where am I?" he asked, gasping at the pain it caused him.
"Don't know, we fell several floors."
"Oh." A harshly indrawn breath and a hacking cough filled the silence. "Wil?"
"Yes, pet?"
"Move closer, please?"
The light went out and a soft rustle of clothing alerted him to the fact that Wil was complying with his request. A few moments later he could feel the vampire settle himself gently beside him. Wil could smell the blood in the air and could hear the boy's body fighting to work. He knew his boy was badly wounded. Among the sounds and smells of the boy he could still smell the demons they had fought and saved. He could also hear the distant sounds of digging and knew his Sire and their family were trying to save them. Wil only hoped that Angel could get to them in enough time. He could feel the older vampire's distress. Wil quietly spoke, hoping his love could hear him. "Hurry, Sire, the boy hasn't much time." His only answer was a sharp pain in his chest. It was the only answer he needed.
Beside him, Xander was reviewing the strange turn his life had taken yet again as he snuggled closer to the vampire. Xander had the strange urge to laugh and he probably would have had it not been for the pain in his chest. Four years ago, if someone had told him that he would trust his life and sanity to two vampires, he would have laughed his ass off. The fact that he counted on these particular vampires was even more surprising. Angel, whom he had hated and sent to hell. Never mind that he was Angelus at the time. He had hated the dark haired vampire when he was still souled. There had been so many mistakes and misunderstandings between them at that time. It was only through time and Angel's resurrection that they had been able to make peace.
Then there was Spike, who he now called Wil. The vampire he had been given to by Angel in a twisted plan that had not worked out. He had been as surprised as Angel when Spike had beaten his Sire back and carried him away. Dru had proved to be enough of a distraction for Xander to escape. The insane vampire had scream that Spike had to release the kitten. Xander figured he was the kitten. There had been several times when Spike took him and he escaped. Then he had helped them go after Angelus. Everyone knew that Buffy couldn't kill the elder vampire, she was still blinded by her love for him.
Now, years later, they were his parents, his family. His life had changed radically over the last few years. It had all started with Jesse's death. Having to stake his boyfriend had nearly killed him. He still woke up some nights crying because of that act. Years passed and Buffy died three times. The last time had been final. That had been two years before. Dawn and Willow had died with her. A car accident of all things. Demons, Gods and Vampires couldn't keep them down, but a drunk driver took them all away.
It had been painfully ironic that the drunk who had destroyed Xander's life had been his father. His father always found a way to rip his happiness away. This time was no exception.
Of course, the bastard survived, and Xander lost control. Anya had had to lock Xander up for two days until she could reach Giles and the LA crew.
When they arrived they could hear Xander raging at Anya to release him from the room. She had called in several of her old demon friends to bring him to the Magic shop and lock him in the containment room.
\\Flashback//
Anya trembled as she opened the door to the small group. She was so relieved to see them. "ANYA! LET ME OUT! HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME? YOU WERE A VENGEANCE DEMON! LET ME GET VENGEANCE! HE KILLED MY GIRLS!" Xander's screams were inhuman and the sound of death rang through it. The last two days had left the former vengeance demon shaken. The gentle and loving boy she knew was gone. In his place was a creature born of pain and rage. She, too, was grieving for the loss of her friends, but she could not allow Xander to go down that path. If Joyce had not been killed by Glory she would have been there to help them. Perhaps then Xander would have been calmer. But Joyce was not there and Giles had moved to LA the year before. Buffy no longer needed a Watcher and the older man had gone to LA to be with Wesley.
Cordelia and Faith stood side by side, silent in their shock. This was not the boy they remembered. This was not a side of Xander that either young woman had seen. Both had dated Xander and had been changed by him in a profound way. The coldness and rage that had lived in both girls had been tempered by the gentleness and love given to them by Xander. He had literally saved them.
For Wil and Angel it was less of a surprise, they both knew what the boy was capable of. They grieved with him and only their souls and their promises to The Powers kept them from killing the elder Harris. They wanted to do something to help him through his pain. They both owed him for the second chance they had been given. After Glory had placed the spell on Spike that had returned Wil, it was Xander that cared for him. It was also Xander who figured out that the same spell could be used on Angel, so that he no longer had to worry about the happiness clause. Xander had also been the one to convince Wil to return to LA with Angel after Buffy's resurrection. They owed their happiness to him.
For Wes and Giles it was equally disturbing. Wes could sense something different in Xander, something he had only had hints of before. The newly developed empathic gifts he had been cursed with were also being overwhelmed with Xander's pain and rage. Giles could feel the return of something he had thought caged. He turned to Anya. "How long has he been this way?" Anya turned tear filled eyes to him. He could see the grief and exhaustion in her eyes. "Two days, ever since the police told him it was his father that killed the girls. I had to call on some of my demon friends to help me bring him here. He was going to kill Mr. Harris."
"Maybe you should let him know you're here, Giles." They all turned to look at Graham. The former marine was concentrating on the door that housed his friend. Graham and Riley had joined up with the LA crew just two months earlier. They had come to LA to tell Wil how to remove the chip. They had felt they owed it to him for his help in defeating Adam and Maggie Walsh.
Through their friendship with Buffy and Xander they knew that Wil had his soul returned. They wanted him to be able to defend himself against evil humans. The group looked back towards the door as Riley and Oz came through it. The only ones not there were Gunn and Fred. Gunn had stayed behind to watch the office and to protect Fred. The young woman still would not leave her room. Neither man was given the chance to speak before Xander managed to knock down the door. "I was afraid that would happen," Anya said calmly.
The new arrivals were shocked by the change in Xander's appearance. The dark haired youth was gaunt and his skin was grey. He had two day's worth of beard. It was obvious he had harmed himself; he had blood and scratches all over him. However, it was the feral, haunted look in his eyes that let them know they were not dealing with their Xander.
The young man growled and began to mutter to himself. "Out, got to get out. Harmed pack, must pay. Killed the soldiers, have to avenge. My family, he took them." Giles was alarmed by the words. Fear coursed through him as he realized that Xander's grief had released both the Soldier and the Hyena. They were fighting for supremacy with Xander's own personality.
"Oh dear, this is worse than I thought," Giles whispered.
"What is it?" Graham asked.
"The hyena is out." Cordy and Oz gulped and pulled those around them back.
"So not good," Cordy squeaked.
Xander scented the air and looked around him. He could hear growls and snarls, but he did not realize they were coming from him. He smelled pack around him and it confused him. The hyena also sensed the true father and the one it claimed as mate. Giles gasped when the glowing yellow eyes fixed upon him. He remembered those eyes from the last time he had been faced with the hyena.
Giles was surprised to find himself within the arms of the distraught boy. "Girls gone!" Xander wailed and clung to his father. Giles rocked him and held him close as the boy wept out his grief and pain. As Anya had hoped, Giles' presence helped Xander to cope with his grief, though a part of her mourned the fact that Tony Harris would not end up dead.
It was two days after the girls' funerals that the new Slayer arrived. The small group had been doing patrols and letting the demons know that there was still someone watching over the Hellmouth. Giles was pleased to see that the new Watcher was another outlaw like himself. He knew that the newest Slayer would survive. Timothy Giles would take after his uncle when it came to setting things out for his young charge. Rupert knew that Timothy would make sure that Rose's life was more than slaying.
It was decided that when they left Sunnydale they would take Xander with them. Though the young man was controlling his grief better, it was obvious that the other two personalities were still fighting for control. They would be taking Anya with them as well as all three entities would not leave her behind. The woman was their family. Anya was fine with it as Xander was all she had.
Xander shivered in pain and came back to the present. It had taken nearly a year before he was able to completely merge with both the soldier and the hyena. He became stronger and faster because of it. He also now had the ability to strategize. He snorted to himself, obviously he hadn't been quick enough. He and Anya had a family and a home now and both were content.
He sighed softly and leaned closer to Wil. "Do you think the others are alright?" he asked breathlessly.
"Yes, love, I'm sure they're fine," Wil reassured. He could feel Xander getting weaker and hear his heart slowing. Wil shifted slightly and pulled his boy onto his lap. Cradling the damaged boy in his arms. Xander closed his eyes and pressed his face into Wil's neck. He was so tired, he knew he was dying. He mourned the fact that he would not have the chance to say goodbye to the rest of his family.
Xander also cursed himself for never telling Oz how he felt. They had both ignored the fact that Xander had gone after him the first time he was controlled by the hyena. Then after he had been brought to LA, the hyena kept urging him to take Oz and claim him as his own, but he couldn't. He had loved Oz for so long, but after Jesse he only dated women. In his grief he denied his basic nature and because of it he now was bereft of the chance to tell Oz about his love.
"Wil?" Xander gasped.
"Yes, love?" Wil asked. He was becoming more distraught.
"Would you do me a favor, Wil?"
"Sure."
Xander took another gasping breath before speaking again. "I've written several letters and left them in my night stand along with my Will. Would you please make sure everyone gets their letter and that my wishes are carried out? Would you take care of Fred and Anya for me?"
Wil fought the urge to howl out his denial. "No need, Pet, you'll make it out of here." Xander lifted a weak hand to Wil's cheek.
"Please, Wil, don't pretend. We both know I'm dying. Will you do this for me?" Wil bite back a sob and took a needless breath. His pain was evident in his voice when he spoke.
"You have my word, I'll do this for you."
"Thank you," Xander whispered before succumbing to the pain, and fainting. Wil held the frail human tighter to his chest and wept.
Two hours later....
The last boulder was rolled out of the way and Angel ran through the opening. When he came back out he held both Wil and Xander in his arms. Wil had protectively curled himself around the boy. Angel gently lowered them to the ground.
Giles was about to pull Xander from Wil when they realized that Xander had not moved or made a sound. Tense silence descended on the group, so that they heard the boy take a last, shuddering breath.
In the alleys and the tunnels surrounding the old building demons and humans alike ran from the rage filled sounds and explosions of grief filtering from the building.
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Xander looked around him in confusion and wonder. He was in a beautiful garden filled with sunlight and flowers. He felt at peace for the first time in years, but at the same time he felt he did not belong. "That's because you don't." Xander spun round at the sound of a familiar voice.
"Willow!"
Chapter 2
Touched by the sun
burned by the light
changed by heaven tonight.
"Hello Xander." Xander's breath caught in his chest and he hurried over to the beautiful, red haired girl. She gently took him in her arms and they clung to one another.
After a few minutes they broke apart and Xander began to ask questions. "What's going on? Why does it feel wrong to be here?"
Willow smiled and took his hand. She gently led him to a nearby bench and sat them both down. "You aren't meant to be here. You're an immortal."
Xander gaped at her in surprise for several minutes, then found his voice again. "Then why am I here?" he asked fearfully.
"Because the Powers have a very special mission for you, Xander. The Powers have gifted you with visions. These are very special visions. Your visions will lead you to help children; not just human children, but non human children as well. As you know, not all demons are evil. You will be their seer. You will lead the others to protect them," Willow told him gently.
Xander took a deep breath then nodded. "I can do that."
Willow nodded to her friend. "I know you can, but there is more."
That didn't sound good. "What more?"
"You and Oz have a common destiny. Your love was preordained. You are meant to be the parents of the Deliverer. For this to happen you had to be changed."
"Changed how?" Xander asked warily.
"You're to be the mom."
"Eep! Willow, I like being a boy! I don't want to give up my penis!"
Willow giggled, "You won't have to. They have changed your body so that you can bear children. You're no longer human. Because of this you can carry the special child. As it is you are already pregnant."
Xander blinked at her for several minutes, then blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "But I didn't even get to have the fun, sex part!" he protested, as he placed his hands on his stomach.
Willow laughed again and gently kissed his cheek. When she pulled back Xander was quiet and sad again. "Can't you come back?" he asked with tears in his eyes.
Willow tightened her hand around his and shook her head. "I had my time, this is my place now. I don't belong on earth anymore."
"What about Buffy, Joyce and Dawn? Are they here? Are they happy? Do you know where Jesse is?" He asked the questions all at once.
"They're all fine. Most of the time we don't even remember we're dead. The only reason I remember now is because the Powers wanted me to be the one to tell you about the changes your life and body are undergoing.
Xander pulled her tightly into his arms and clung to her for several moments. "Will I ever see you again?" he asked brokenly.
"Someday, but remember the dead can hear your thoughts. I love you, Xander, it's time for you to go now," Willow told him and pressed a kiss to his cheek.
"Wait, not yet!" There was no answer as the garden faded away.
Oz sat in silence, caught up in his grief and staring at Xander's body. Xander was dead. He couldn't believe that it was real. Xander, his love, was dead. Anya was crying and clinging tightly to Fred. "This isn't right, he can't be dead," she wailed.
Fred opened her mouth to soothe Anya, but her words turned to a gasp as Xander's body began to shake and shudder. Suddenly, drawing in a deep breath, Xander shot into a sitting position. He looked around him in painful confusion. They watched him place his hand over his stomach for a moment, then he saw Wil and he threw himself into the vampire's arms. He sobbed as though his heart were breaking.
After a few minutes Wil stood with the distraught young man and carried him away from the building, with the others following on his heels. There was time enough later to get the story and find out why Xander was alive. For now, they all wanted to be away from the site of so much pain.
Chapter 3
Do I tell you what I feel
Do I trust my heart
Will you leave me
bleeding in the dark
The Hyperion an hour later
Wil shifted his precious burden and walked through the doors of the hotel. Xander had finally stopped crying in the car, but had not released the vampire. Wil did not stop until they reached the den. It was a room built by Xander not long after he arrived and everyone gathered there when the family met or needed to talk.
Angel followed his mate and the boy they had claimed as their living Childe. He could still remember the profound happiness that that day had brought him. Now his boy needed him again. Whatever it was that had given Xander back to them had left its mark on the boy. Cordelia and Oz were nearly falling over each other to be the next in the room. Both of them wanted to touch Xander and make certain that he was really, truly alive. They also wanted to how he was there.
Xander looked up as Wil lowered them to the sofa. He looked around and saw his family, but when he saw Oz he was suddenly afraid. What if Oz hated him? What if he didn't want the baby? A sob came from him and he pressed his face into Wil's neck, seeking comfort.
Wil stroked his hand down Xander's back and gently crooned to the distraught boy. Wil could tell that Cordy was barely holding onto her patience. She had little control over her temper when she was upset. So he wasn't surprised when she suddenly growled.
"Xander! Tell us what's going on! What happened to you? How come you're back from the dead? Why are you afraid of Oz all of a sudden?" The half demon could feel her friend's fear.
Xander straightened away from Wil and moved to sit beside the vampire. He swallowed painfully and looked at the floor. "I saw Willow. She told me that I'm immortal and that the Powers have given me a mission. From now on I'll get visions to have us help human and non-human children," he whispered.
"What else? I know there's more, I can feel it," she snapped. Like the others, she had little liking for the Powers. She felt that they used them and gave nothing but pain in return for their service.
They all watched as he gently placed a hand to his stomach. "Willow told me that the Powers changed me. She told me that I was destined to carry the Deliverer. She told me who the father was and that they had already impregnated me. And she said that Oz was the father. That our love was preordained." Xander shivered and looked up at Oz, who was staring at him in shock.
"I'll understand if you hate me and the baby. I know that you didn't ask for this. Neither of us did, but I want you to know I do love you," Xander told the other boy, sure that Oz hated him now.
"Baby? Mine? Baby? Love me? You love me?" Oz babbled. Any other time seeing the usually stoic man babbling would be funny. at that moment it was shocking.
They all jumped when Fred suddenly squealed. "Xander and Oz are having a baby!"
Anya began to bounce in her seat. "This is good. Too bad you didn't get to have orgasms, but Willow says you love one another so you can later."
Oz looked at her for a second then turned back to Xander. "Mine!" he growled. He then went to Xander and climbed on his lap. The group watched in amusement and surprise as Oz captured Xander in a hot kiss. When they broke apart, Oz laughed with joy. He gently placed his hands on Xander's stomach and rested them on the swell of their child. It was shocking for him to already see the changes in Xander's body.